A stupefying act of genius

The following anecdote is yet another example of the complete brainiacs I'm dealing with on a daily basis. I've changed the names to protect the guilty and the stupid. Jack, a student in my regular English III class, recently returned from a 10 day suspension. Unfortunately this is not all that unusual an occurrence in my regular class. Jack was suspended for possession and distribution of "weed." That's not the funny part. The funny part is how Jack got caught. Jack is a young man who clearly is not dealing with a full deck in the sound judgement category. Jack was in the midst of a serious business negotiation when his customer grabbed his stash and ran across campus leaving Jack without his money and his weed halfway across the school. Needless to say our boy Jack was dismayed and knew not what to do. So he did what any other victim of a crime would do. He went to the authorities. Yes, folks, that's right. Jack went to report that someone had perpetrated a crime upon him and in fact had "stole his weed!" This mental giant fully expected the local authorities, i.e. the deans who ride around on golf carts all day because their legs are indeed broken, to help him retrieve his "weed." AMAZING! I could not stop laughing when I heard this. Completely, honestly and innocently expected someone to help him get his weed back. Can you imagine? Oh dear lord... thank you for kids like Jack, who entertain me every day. Teaching, like the army, is not just a job, it's an adventure.