Feeding Frenzy

One of the urban myths I like to perpetuate about myself is that I am like a shark. I can smell even the tee-iniest bit of blood in the water and it excites me the way a great white is excited by a bucket of chum. Of course I don't mean literal blood, more like cheating or otherwise academic dishonesty, but the effect is pretty much the same.

For the past several weeks my students have been working in cooperative groups, that's a blog unto itself one day, on various short stories. Each group has been responsible for reading, learning and researching the author and the short story. They then, in turn, teach the class. No big deal. It's a lesson that's been done to death in classrooms across this great land of ours. My experience is no different.

Inevitably there is one group in each class that assumes they can b-s me. That they can answer my questions enough that they will be able to 'pull one over on the old lady.' Oh countraire mon amis...

So group 2, we'll call them, gets up and begins to regale their peers with a synopsis of Thomas Wolfe's "The Far and The Near", only wonders upon wonders, they are making crap up. I'm sitting at my desk, mouth agape and eyes bulging out. I am giving them my best "are you nuts" look and they keep right on going. At this point I begin to get a little irritated, ok A LOT irritated. I am offended that they think I am as dumb as they obviously think their classmates are. Soooo.. I begin to play along. I ask the only young lady in the group to have a seat. I have just a few more questions to ask her peers. She does so and there is an audible GULP sound from the remaining stooges. I begin with some low level red herrings... they take the bait. One young woman raises her chin defiantly and begins to challenge me and my made up questions about things that didn't really happen in the story. I finally circle in for the kill, again a metaphor not a real act of violence for you bleeding hearts. So, Missy can you tell me how did the woman react when the old man, the conductor, asked for her hand in marriage? There's a loooooooong pause, some nail biting and then finally, Oh she was surprised, Miss. She was just really surprised. I press on. Oh, was she? Why do you suppose that was? She pauses again... well, see Miss... she was surprised because she didn't see it coming. Didn't see it coming, indeed I scoff. Do you think, I ask letting out a little line, do you think that she didn't see it coming as you say because there WAS NO STUPID PROPOSAL? THAT I MADE THE WHOLE THING UP BECAUSE YOU OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T READ THE STORY? Ohh the look on the faces of those children was PRICELESS I tell you. I couldn't help myself. I smelled the blood. I had to attack. You really can't blame the shark for doing what sharks do can you? I mean really it was all about instinct then. I cannot adequately express the joy I felt in this little game. It was beautiful.

Just so you don't get the impression that I am a heartless wench I guess I should give you some redeeming little tidbit about how I offered the young people a chance to make amends and to earn back some of the credit they lost in their stunt. But... that would be a lie.